WHY YOGA REVEALED ME THE TRUTH

”WHY YOGA REVEALED ME THE TRUTH”

I know It sounds strong, but let’s start from the beginning.

My parents have been, both, Teachers of Physical Education of High School for 42 years now. 
As you can imagine I grew up in a really sporty environment.
I did all the kind of activities, from Tennis to Swim, from Trekking to Ballet and of course Yoga; but more than everything else, agonistic rhythmic gymnastic from the age of 8 till 15.
I was pretty good at it and now I can say that It was one of the most beneficial experiences of my life.

“Growing up” I have slowly stopped to do all of that and I stepped into my carrier and into what people call, a more “Adult life”, made by a daily dose of intramuscular pure stress, crazy deadlines and billions of hours sitting in front of a screen.

We all know what I am talking about...

Well…
... I also “knew” it was no good, but I didn't know how actually bad it was for me.

After many years of this lifestyle, I finally decided to start Yoga again and to practice a bit on my own.

To practice alone was a good habit but I was doing it mainly to find some intimate peace and a quiet space.

Soon I discovered that I was too lenient with my body and too permissive with my mind.

This self-soft practice couldn’t let me see what I have discovered after.

A few years later, I met Samu, my actual boyfriend, and thanks to him that I have started to practice Ashtanga Yoga, a really demanding discipline who is based on a Serie, that is always the same and every day you practice it as a Mantra.

Ashtanga Yoga is not “just” a body exercise, of course, It’s more a devotional path, but today I want to talk mainly of what I found out through the execution of the Asanam in itself.

Ashtanga it revealed me What I couldn’t see.

I discovered that my left upper body was significantly disabled.
With disabled, I mean that I couldn’t keep my arm straight over my head.
The maximum I could do was a 90-degree angle, and , even just doing so, I was feeling a visceral burning laceration into my shoulder.

Every time I brought my self on the mat, I was hoping that thing was gone,
Instead, it was always there, stronger and more vivid than before.

It was like to face a mirror, it was the truth, and It was painful.
It is painful.

It took me a while before I admitted it; When It finally happened, I couldn’t stop questioning:

“How is possible that I never ever noticed that before?”

The only answer I found was.

I couldn’t.
Because for me, my arm was straight.

This awareness was a revolution.
At one point I also started to remember:
I was 8, with my mum, and the doctor was saying to her:
“Her Spine is literally like a bottle opener”.

In all these years of office lifestyle, I’ve never noticed it and I surely just made it worse.

What I was actually seeing of myself while I was practicing?
The real me or what was more convenient?

The perception that my arm was fine, was my truth.
I couldn’t see it, because I just didn’t want to.

If I was not able to see the "physical" me, What about my soul?

This simple insight revealed me that We are the creator of our own reality, and the mind let us perceive the world in a comfy way to satisfy our lazy ego.

But as Korzybski would say now: “ The map is not the territory”.

Ashtanga Yoga gave me the chance to “see” me, with all my limits and my talents.

Since I started “measuring my self” with an objective standard, I couldn't lie anymore and I became able to work with compassion and love.

Now, consciously, every day, I work to balance my two sides, the Moon and the Sun, Ida e Pingala, the Yin and the Yang, my feminine and my masculine side.

It’s a long way I know, maybe one life is not enough but I have faith and I am positive.
Is my duty to be a better person and to accept the one I am now.

Once you accept your limits, they disappear.

This is why, now, with my left arm straighter and stronger, when people come to our class saying “don’t worry if I don’t follow the series, I do what my mind tells me to do”, my answer is always: “ I am not worried, but You should not.”

Namaste

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